Kalinago Beach Resort

I thought that I was staying at a nice quiet resort because there were only 29 rooms. But the place had deals with the cruise ship companies, and depending which ships were in, the parking lot was swarming with buses full of tourists. They stormed the grounds and took over the place. They grabbed all the chaise lounges, then they took the chairs from the pool area and dragged them onto the beach. They used the pool, the bar and the shower. It totally ruined the serenity that I was seeking, and was led to believe that I was going to get. And then there was the day that the resort rented out the grounds for a birthday party. There were a whole bunch of screaming kids who took over the whole pool and destroyed every inflatable. And on Sundays, anyone who wants to can pay admission and use the whole place. You don’t see any of this in their advertisements! You keep seeing the word “tranquil” in their ads, but that is not the way I would describe it when the Rhum Runner party boat dumps all its passengers on the beach. Nor is that the word I would use when the fishermen came ashore with all their nets, leaving behind hundreds of dead fish in the water. As for everything else about the place? There are pros and cons. The room was relatively clean, although dated. The balcony had a great view of the beach. The grounds were meticulously maintained. The beach was beautiful. The pool had a swim-up bar. But there were a lot of cons. There was no microwave, no coffee pot, no rack to put the suitcases on, no tissue box and no hair dryer. All we had was a kettle. There was no floral arrangement in my room as they advertised. I never knew whether my shower was going to be the polar plunge or molten lava. It changed daily. For that matter, I never knew if I was going to have water. Twice we lost it, and for hours at a time. We also lost electricity twice. The ceiling fan didn’t work at all. Nor did the outlet in the bathroom for charging my shaver. The air conditioner blew directly onto the bed, and there was no way to angle it differently. The chairs on the balcony were hard wooden slats; no cushions. Most of the chaise lounges on the beach were either broken or missing pieces. I had to get up at 6:00 AM in order to claim a good one. The photos show every lounge in the pool area has a cushion, but I counted only seven. The restaurant was not open for dinner. There was a barbecue on the beach on Saturday night, but they never told us how much it would cost until we checked out. The food was all cold, and the lobster was overcooked and dry. We had to use water shoes to enter the water because what they called “powder white sand beach” was full of stones. I don’t know, maybe remnants of the hurricane? And don’t ask to check out late unless you want to shell out an additional $60 US.

I stayed here 10 years ago and was bitterly disappointed the mangament is non existent. Today was our 1st day of our holiday and we bought 10 day passes. Breakfast was a total disaster after an hour and a half i got some cold sausages after half the family had eaten and my wife then got asked what cornflakes she wanted???? The coffee was some instant crap and if you want a Bloody Mary don't bother To the beach carry your own busted sunbeds and the towels arnt part of the day pass which is a joke Lunch was ok and the bar attendant through the day was decent the only member of staff worth a mention. Overall a boring badly managed well positioned hotel in despite need of investment and quality staff who needs training in hospitality.

The location of this hotel is perfect. The beach is usually quiet with plenty of space. It’s a little tired in places but offers rustic charm. The staff were all very helpful. The food was of a good standard, particularly the breakfasts and I’d recommend the rum punch special with has a couple of secret ingredients. The pool has a swim up bar. It’s next to La Plywood bar and a 20 min walk from Umbrellas. The driveway is steep but makes a short sharp walk up the hill to blow away the cobwebs before breakfast. Would definitely return.